what I want to teach my children

Happy Tuesday everyone it's not Tuesday

Warning: After this post I will no longer be including warnings on my more mature content. I don't have young readers so the warnings have always been for family members who might be uncomfortable reading me mention sex or using profanity. So going forward if that makes you uncomfortable maybe read with caution or get used to it. If you read a title that might seem like it will be uncomfortable maybe don't read the post. I've included tags at the bottom of posts now so if a post is tagged LGBTQIA+ it's more likely to have sexual content because I talk about my journey discovering my sexuality. I'm a very open person but I've held back on a few things for my family's sake and as I'm getting older I see less of a need for that. That doesn't mean I'm gonna go cursing up a storm or going into detail about my sex life and this does not apply to trigger warnings.

Did you miss my gay content? Come on, you missed it. Well, whether you did or not here's some fresh new gay content for you that isn't me explaining how I came out and discovered I'm my sexuality over and over again so that's fun.

See National Coming Out Day (2016) How did you know? (More in depth)

I'm not completely sold on the whole having kids thing. When I was with my ex for almost three years I was coming around to it because he wanted kids. But when we broke up and what he wanted didn't matter anymore I was back to square one. Do I want kids? It's the whole nine months and shoving a baby out of my vagina thing that I'm really not here for. But if I marry a chick, (it's a possibility! Start getting used to it!) I won't have to deal with that. She can carry it if she wants or someone else can carry it or we can adopt or just get a bunch of cats.



What I do know is how I want to raise my kids in regards to same-sex relationships. Controversy! It will be common knowledge. Shocking! It will be normalized. Appalling! There will be no sit down talk about gay relationships. They'll know about it as kids know about straight relationships. It's all just love. That's it.

I think a problem people have with this is they think if kids know about gay relationships they have to know about gay sex. That's so not the case. Genitals do not have to be involved. Little kids know mommy and daddy love each other but they don't know what goes on in the bedroom. They watched Mr.
Incredible and Elastigirl get married but they don't really know what "and got busy" means. It would be the same for all kinds of relationships. Kids are aware of straight relationships from a very young age. The first crush I remember having was a boy in preschool (who's now gay). Gay relationships are not inherently dirty or sexual even. Again shocking! I know. But consider for a moment that asexuals (meaning individuals who do not like or have sex) can be in a gay relationship (asexual doesn't mean you can't romantically be attracted to any genders).  If you think that then you've been watching too much porn.

So, my kids know that all kinds of relationships exist and then when they are old enough for the full sex talk (I mean the hormonal age sex talk not where babies come from) you give them all of the sex talks. Not just the straight one. Even if you don't approve of same-sex relationships or want your kids to partake in one it is still important to educate them because if they choose to have sex with the same gender they need to know how to be safe. That's what this level of sex talk is. It's how to be safe. Better safe than sorry. I would rather have an awkward sex talk about every variety of sex than have my child pregnant too young or get an STD/STI or other scary sexually transmitted things.

I don't wanna hear any of this, "I don't wanna tell my kid about sex because then they'll have it' crap.
Teaching kids suicide and drug awareness does not raise the statistics of suicide and drug use! If your kid wants to have sex (most but not all do) they're gonna have it whether you like it or not. The best you can do is tell them to respect themselves and their body. Be safe. Do it with someone you love and who respects you. Don't let anyone pressure you. If you're religious you can ENCOURAGE them not to have sex until marriage. I stress encourage because you shouldn't scare them into it with threats of hell and eternal damnation and you shouldn't shame them into it. Sex is natural. We've been doing it for thousands of years it's why kids still have sex without having the sex talk. But you need to have this talk with them. If you deny them that talk they're more likely to come home pregnant or with an STI than the kids that do get the talk.

My mom was very open with me about this talk so I knew how to be safe when I became sexually active. Other people I know were not so lucky and they were repeatedly unsafe and they're very lucky nothing happened to them. I knew a family member who did not receive the sex talk from her parents so when my mom took it into her own hands she had already had sex and was pregnant at fourteen! Off the top of my head I know of one STD or STI that can lead to infertility if left untreated so also get tested if you're sexually active.

This is not where I expected this post to go but you're welcome.

After all of that, I also don't want my kids to have to come out to me. I want them to feel like they can bring home whatever significant other they want and that's it. Coming out is scary whether or not you think your parents will be okay with it. I don't want my kids to be afraid that I will accept them. I want it to be explicitly clear that I will accept them no matter what.

It's actually pretty simple.

Totally bi *ahem* I mean Ky