Me (NOT) TARZAN

Happy Tuesday everyone it's not Tuesday,

(I wrote this yesterday)

I am constantly being misgendered. Today it stuck with me so I'm going to sit down and blog about it. I've talked about being misgendered before. This post I wrote before I cut my hair and I would tuck my hair into a beanie. So that's my first experience and thoughts about being misgendered. I also talked about it briefly here. And that day I found it funny. Today it bothered me.

Left: I liked to take pictures of what I looked like when I've been misgendered. (The eyes are the filter)

The scenario today: my spanish professor asked the class (in Spanish), how many women were in the class. She picked a student, he looked aorund the room, counted, and said, "Ocho."

"Nueve." The professor corrected (She always stump students on this question because they forget to count her.)and after I counted I agreed. Until I realized I hadn't counted myself.

The professor had stood in front of the class, counted all the women, out loud. She pointed to Eurosha "una", Caroline "dos", Amanda "tres", Daniela "cuatro", Natalya "cinco", Nicole "seis", Keisha "siete", Maria "ocho", and herself "nueve". No one disagreed or corrected. So essentially I was misgendered. by my whole class after weeks of being in this class. And this was not the first time we've counted the women vs men in the room. Every time before I was counted as a woman. And I am not unknown in the class. We all work together and know each others name's. The class is interactive and we're forced to socialize. I just named all the girls in the class because I know everyone. I know Noah works at Olive Garden. Trent is always late, he sits behind me. Andy talks a lot and likes attention. Daniela plays tennis, she was sick last week and couldn't hear out of one ear. Nicole goes to UCSD, that class is the only one she is taking at Mesa. Caroline is from Korea, learning Spanish is hard for her because English is a struggle. Natalya used to play soccer before her injury, she sits next to me and draws in her planner. On test days she studies with flashcards and I look over her shoulder and study with her but she doesn't know. Xander's full name is Alexander, he dances in his house. Tommy works on campus. AND KY IS FEMALE. SHE SITS NEXT TO THE DOOR.

I wear boxers, basketball shorts and T-shirts from the men's aisle. Even my shoes are men's. The only thing feminine about what I wear are bras. Which I don't even really need because my boobs are so small they don't have a size but bras feel like a second skin and I'm uncomfortable without it to the point I sleep in them. And what small amounts of boobs I do have is camouflaged by my being overweight and wearing baggy shirts. And I have short hair.

Just because I do not look like what others think a woman is supposed to look like, does not mean I am not a woman. Being female is whatever I want it to mean. To some people it means long hair, dresses, pink, etc. To me it means I'm strong, capable, powerful, etc. Everyone has a different definition of what it means to be female. But just because your definition doesn't match up with who I am does not mean I am not a woman.

Don't assume my gender.

Good night everyone,
Totally female

P.S That picture right there is from Some Kind Of Wonderful. It's a wonderful movie that you should see. It has Mary Stuart Masterson who's in the movie Benny and Joon (good movie, watch it) with John Depp. And it has Lea Thompson from Switched at Birth (good show, watch it). Both ladies are hot in Some Kind of Wonderful.