Labels

Happy Tuesday everyone.

I am someone who hates labels.

Whenever I say this, people point out that I identify as bisexual which is a label. If I don't like labels then why do I label myself as bisexual?

But I feel like what I am and what I identify as isn't a label. I feel like a label is when you see someone as one thing. Or call them one thing. Let me try to explain this with a quick (yeah right) story.

I am the only senior in my P.E class. Don't ask. At first, I was really isolated from my classmates because I didn't know anyone and I'm not really good at socializing with new people. It's funny to remember this because now I'm the total den mother of the group. I've adopted the whole class and now they are my little duckies and I love them. They're so cute. They look up to me and turn to me for advice which is really cool. I try to be a good senior to them because when I was them (a freshman, a sophomore and a junior) the seniors were mean and intimidating.

Part of my being a good senior to them is learning their names. Luckily we had a lot of substitutes who had to go through roll call so I almost have everyone's name down. One of the names I learned is Thinh. He sits a row ahead and a couple numbers over from me (In P.E we sit outside on numbers in rows and columns.). Last week as we stood over our numbers I glanced over at him and saw that his gym shorts said Thinh on them. I asked him if this was his first or last name and if he got a lot of name play jokes.

Then a couple days later when his ball got away from him and I gave it back to him he specifically said, "Thanks, Ky". To which I specifically said, "Your welcome, Thinh". He had obviously heard me and another student arguing about my name being Ky and not Kylie Jenner. So we had this little thing going.

Then a couple days later the class was split up into groups to play soccer and Thinh was on the other team. I did what I do in soccer and waited near our goal until the other team ran down with the ball and tried to kick it away from them. Two other girls had the same strategy so we chatted a bit and at one point one of the girls called Thinh "the Asian". This is where my hatred for labels is hopefully explained. Yes, Thinh is Asian. But he is not "the Asian". This lead to the ten-minute long conversation with me and these two girls trying to tell them his name was Thinh without him noticing. "Thinh! As in T-H-I-N-H. As in you are skinny. It's written on his pants just look. No not Finn!" I got so frustrated I eventually ended it with, "Just don't call him "the Asian". He has a name." Thinh is Asian. He's not "THE Asian".

It is beyond disrespectful to me to generalize a human being to one word. I am a girl, I am white, I am bisexual. I am not "the girl", "the white person" or "the bisexual". I am all of these things and so much more. When you stick a label to someone they become one thing and one thing only. No one is just one thing.

I make an effort to learn people's names. Not just in my P.E class in order to be a good senior to them. But everyone I see often or talk to often. Because a person's name is like a list of everything they are that is summarised in one word. When you hear the name of someone you know it carries a certain connotation. When you hear the name of your partner you might feel excited. When you hear the name of your mom you might feel comforted or angry depending on the time and your mom.

I am not the white girl. Or the bisexual. I am Ky. And Ky is a white bisexual girl (I used those words as an example because that is often how I am generalized.) and so much more.

Until next time,
Totally Ky