Handful of Wishes

Happy Tuesday everyone,

As of this year I have an empty heart.

Many of you when reading that line oddly enough because you know me are not worried. Like the fast food worker in the movie "Dude where's my car?" you are waiting for the, "and then". You're waiting for the explanation without worry that I am saying I am somehow empty inside. You wait because you know I have the flair for drama in my writing and I love metaphors and such.

Back to the wonderfully beautiful line.

As of this year I have an empty heart.

Which if were stated more plainly would come out something like,

I have this like, I don't even know what it is, here's a picture, it's like a heart pouch where I put wishes that I wrote on sticky note tabs and now I'm going to pull them out and read them so the heart will be empty and I can start fresh this year.

See. Doesn't have as much flair now does it. This is why we have writers.

I actually did this in 2014. Or at least that's the number written on the back of all of them (14). I'm not sure why I didn't put any wishes in 2015 but I want to make this another annual thing on this here thing we call (Life?) blog.

Is that enough foreplay *ahem* I mean, you know, small talk?

So I'm going to go through the slips (which I made into a spiral thing because that's how I roll) and sort of talk about them. My reaction, whether or not this dream/wish came true, whether or not this is still a dream of mine, that sort of thing.



Follow my dreams

I did not make that picture but I thought it was perfect!

I don't think we ever really stop chasing our dreams because once we catch one another one pops up on the horizon.






Fall in love and stay in love (I'm going to talk about this in a separate post that will go up at a much later date)




Find my person - When I wrote this I of course meant my romantic partner person (you know what I mean). And I have found a sort of someone to neck with in the backseat of my car but more importantly I've made some really amazing relationships with my group of friends.  I've found my person. I've found many people.

When I was looking for pictures for these (because this is how I keep you engaged. Lots of pictures.) I remember that the whole "my person" thing is from one of my favorite shows that I haven't seen in a while (which is why I forgot). So that's where the picture is from. And if your aren't familiar with this show, they're best friends and each other's person. So it's fitting that I found my people as in friends.




Be an amazing writer - I haven't been an amazing writer lately because I haven't been writing. I hoping to work on that. I'm going to start keeping a journal again because I think part of the problem is writing on a computer blocks the creativity a bit for me.




Be like Nora Roberts  (well known, talented, successful) - I used to be very obsessed with Nora Roberts to the point I did accomplish this next one.

Read all Nora Roberts books - I used to have a bookcase full of her books and now I'm down to a shelf and I've started branching out and reading other authors. For the last couple years all I've really read is Nora Roberts and it's been stunting my creativity in a way I think. Writers read everything. and I haven't been reading everything.

Publish books, poems etc - Still my ultimate dream.

Live and survive - Two very different things in my opinion. I hope to continue to do them both.

Live through biology - That is so funny that I put this in there. My sophomore year I took Biology and it was so hard not to curse out the teacher everyday. That man to this day sets my teeth on edge. I'm not going to name names but if you go to my school and you are reading this, *steps with one foot onto chair* "Hey, guys, hey. Choices". I cannot describe to you how much I despised this man. Deep breath Ky. This isn't meant to be a rant. I am very proud of the fact that I did survive that God awful class and with a freaking A!

Live through high school - I'm graduating this year. I cannot eloquently describe how frightened this makes me. When I feel an abundance of a certain emotion such as anger or fear, whatever, I become incapable of coming across like an intelligent person in my writing. If you don't know what I mean, I'm working on a post right now with a lot of me censuring my cuss words.

That medel up there is what I get for surviving life (so far), biology and high school.

Live through college . . . No. My way of dealing with things is pretending they aren't happening, pretending I don't exist. Or quite literally running away from my problems, often without shoes and or pants.

Devin - I don't know what I meant when I wrote this. Devin is someone I used to be very close to and I haven't had a relationship with him in several years and I really miss him.

There's a couple things on body image. I feel like a talk about this too much and I don't want to wear out the topic so that's it.

There are *ahem* a couple more wishes that I am not going to list here . . . Because my mom reads this. And although she isn't old I don't want her to have a heat attack. Love you mom!

Until next time,
Totally Ky

P.S I got this idea from this video by someone I follow on youtube. He wrote down important things that happened over the year and put them in a jar to then look through at the end of the year.