Are Bathrooms Sexist? Is my beanie magic?

Happy Tuesday everyone,

I have a magical beanie that apparently transforms me into a dude?
(Jack/Jaclyn and the magic beanie?)

The first time I was mistaken as a guy/transgender (to quickly clarify a transgender is not someone who has changed their sex via surgery. It's just someone who was born one sex but identifies as another) I was in the bathroom at the movies on my birthday after my movie got out. I had to babysit my little sister that day so four high schoolers and a five-year-old went to see the new Annie movie. I always dress really comfortable for the movies so I was in basketball shorts, a T-shirt and the beanie I wear when I don't feel like doing my hair. I always have to use the bathroom right after a movie so I took my sister and we were swarmed by several girls under thirteen. As I waited for my sister to finish washing her hands I notice a lot of these girls kept giving me sideways glances. Their silence and sneaky stares eventually said to me, "What is that boy doing in here?" I often say "I'm as mature as a twelve-year-old boy and I'm as developed as a twelve-year-old boy." So . . . Yeah.

The second time was again in the bathroom on a day I was wearing my beanie. Class had just gotten out to lunch so there was a line for the bathroom that went out the door. I stood at the end of the line behind a girl dressed similarly as me. Her short brown hair was tucked under a grey beanie, same as me. And she wore a T-shirt and jeans, again same as me. I said something to her like, "Wow, a line out the door? Makes you wish you were a boy, huh?"

And she said, "Yeah, I wish they had transgender bathrooms so we could go in there instead." This caught me off guard so I didn't correct him (I assume this person uses male pronouns but you can never be sure, I would never use a pronoun for a transgender without politely asking what they proffered first).

The third time was in my chemistry class when we had a substitute. She went through roll call and when she got to my name I jokingly said, "My name is Ky, not Kayla." She got all flustered at me and apologized. I didn't think anything of it until later when I realized I was wearing my beanie. And Ky is typically a males name. She thought I was correcting her on my preferred gender pronoun. Like if someone who went by Jake was called Julie, he'd be like, "My name is Jake!"

I have never been mistaken as a guy or transgender female to male when my hair is down. It's only when I'm wearing my beanie. Why is that? Why does this magical beanie suddenly transform me into a dude? I'm a chick. I'm a chick when I wear a beanie, when I refuse to wear skirts (unless answers are written on my thigh, kidding!). This is the 21st century. We, for the most part, have gender equality. Woman don't have to wear dresses and be stay at home moms or housewives. And yet when I wear a beanie I am no longer a woman. People around me have decided my gender based on how they view my appearance. People supposedly don't "judge a book by its cover" yet they have judged what gender I am when they look at me. No one but me decides what gender I am. You are not allowed to look at me, not know me, and decide that for me. Especially something as important as that. Being a woman is a big part of my identity and it's not okay for anyone to take that away from me.

Some people think gender is decided for you when you're born. I disagree. I think the gender you are on the inside is more important than the gender your body is, or the gender society tells you you are.


On another note with a similar topic. This weekend I asked myself the question; "Are bathrooms sexist?"

I was having lunch in El Cajon when visiting my aunt and when I went to the bathroom I saw a sigh that looked like this;

M/W

You turned right for the woman's bathroom and left for the men's. I thought that was an interesting way of showing the difference between the men's and the woman's without the whole skirt vs no skirt thing. But when I turned to the right I saw the women's sign on the door and indeed the woman was wearing a skirt.

Now of course bathrooms are sexist insinuating there is only man and woman. But I'm looking at the fact that the woman is wearing a skirt. What is this the time of the cavemen? No this is the 21st century! Why is this faceless woman on the bathroom sign wearing a skirt? Personally, I think the whole M/W thing is a better way to show the difference between bathrooms.

The whole gender thing is a big and confusing topic because there isn't just men and women, It's become much more complicated than that. Gender has become more of a range rather than categories. A lot of people would rather everything be organized into neat little categories but that's not how the world works. And why should we put ourselves into these neat little categories just to make other people happy.

Until next time,
Totally Ky